Vanished

You vanished before I knew you,
So I never knew your name.
Would a paradox amuse you?
If so, I'll give you this--
How can two people
Be tied so close,
Yet never share a word?

To be dead before you're born...
(Do you feel so unfulfilled?)
...Is a curse upon us both.
To grow up missing you,
To miss you without knowing,
To know that I miss you
But not know why.

Should I hate you for being weak?
Myself for being strong?
I'm not so strong
Without you here beside me.

And tell me this--
Who am I without you?
Have our souls been fused
Instead of divided?
Am I living your life for you?
Are you here in my head,
Even now,
Thinking your thoughts are mine?

I am tired of being halved!
I feel cheated, betrayed, ignored!
I am selfish to think of me
When the tragedy is yours,
But if we are one...
(I and you is we)
...Then we share a common theme.
We have both received less
Than we might have obtained.

You could have been me,
And I could have been you.
But you were the one that vanished,
And I, your ghost, remain.