[x]

White Lines and RedCrippled by memories,
Strangled by circumstance.
How can a life be cleansed?
My hands are bathed
In blood and grime,
Belonging only to me.

I have bloodied myself
By having good dreams.
When I wake to the world,
My scars appear.
They have sunk in my skin,
White lines and red,
But did I hold the knife?

Are these scars of mine
Made by my hand?
I have long believed
That I was cut by others,
Wounded by others,
Scarred by others.
But I now begin to wonder...
Have I kept my scars from healing?

They will always exist,
In one form or other.
The hurt will never leave me.
I will carry the pain
For the rest of my life.

But I will try my best
To stitc

Threads of TimeDive into darkness, back to your hole,
A remnant of what you were.
You are empty, hollow, devoid of fulfillment.
Armor yourself in shadows, the truest friends you'll know.

I've been thinking lately, here in the darkness.
Untouched by the light, I can see more clearly.
I see the shape of my life so far,
The concrete wounds and the abstract musings,
Longing to shape a conflicting timeline,
To chisel away at what truly "is".
To take these threads of time
And cross them, bind them, braid them
Together.

But sometimes I wonder
Whether darkness will blind me.
Am I losing my vision, my talent, my drive,
For the sake of shifting shadows?
They dance

Freeze the FearHow am I here? In this place I thought
Would be forgot, when I surpassed
The test, the trial, a spell they cast
To keep me in my place.
Can you see my face? These tears run down.
I lost my smile, I can only frown.
In a while I'll ask you
A favor, a task you
Probably won't agree to.

Because the favor I need
Is for someone to free
This person I've kept inside me.
It can't be done, I'm sure you'll see,
And that's why you'll deny me.
You won't know how to be
The friend I need, to meet
Me here in the middle.
Would you even help a little?
I try to trust, to believe in you,
But no matter what I do,
I can't seem to trust for long.
Shall I sing this

VanishedYou vanished before I knew you,
So I never knew your name.
Would a paradox amuse you?
If so, I'll give you this--
How can two people
Be tied so close,
Yet never share a word?

To be dead before you're born...
(Do you feel so unfulfilled?)
...Is a curse upon us both.
To grow up missing you,
To miss you without knowing,
To know that I miss you
But not know why.

Should I hate you for being weak?
Myself for being strong?
I'm not so strong
Without you here beside me.

And tell me this--
Who am I without you?
Have our souls been fused
Instead of divided?
Am I living your life for you?
Are you here in my head,
Even now,
Thinking your thoughts are m

BlackbirdSoftly soaring southward,
The blackbird clips its wings.
It falls to earth,
So grimly limp,
Refusing to fly again.
It can't conceive
Of trying more;
Of beating those wings
As hard as it can.

What drives a bird
To surrender flight?
How shall humans
Be any stronger?
Do we dare to fly--
To truly fly--
When the wind is blown against us?

I have feared to make
The lonely leap
That precludes the act of flying.
What if my wings
Won't keep my aloft?

I must choose to believe
That my wings will beat.
I must wear my wings
With all my pride,
Though my wings are feeble things.

The fallen blackbird
Lifts her head.
She rises, slowly,
And looks to the sta

And Be AliveI don't know where to begin,
But I know I need to start.
I have dined too long
On toxic self-pity.
I must learn to live,
And like it too,
Or die without a purpose.

It is not simply a matter
Of rising again,
Or discarding masks,
Or balancing plates,
Or walking by the waves.
The stars shine down,
But they are far away.
I cannot depend
On starlight forever.

To be myself,
I must overcome myself.
I must teach myself to be me.
Only I can measure the worth
Of the price I'm willing to pay.

I refuse to end
Where I began.
My story will not be stagnant.
I will wander through worlds
That I know and don't know,
And learn to love them all.

Expunge the

Counting Crowds and CarriagesThe rift between us grows ever wider
As we go our separate ways.
I try to hold on, grip your fleeting hand,
But you flit back and forth, beyond my reach.
You are lost to me, withdrawn from me,
Curtains obscuring the stage we once shared.

Loneliness suits me, much as I hate it.
I have thrived on solitude for all my life.
How strange to be surrounded, pressed upon, crushed,
And still feel a distance from the crowds I pass.

Look back on love--look back on hate.
They both drop by, but I never expect them.
Shall they fall by the wayside? I am sitting by the road.
I count the carriages that pass me, ignored.

I wish to get better, but I can't see

A Hopeful HarmonyI would be a coward
If I ran away now.
What you're asking me to do
Is deny my own nature.
You have the best intentions,
But you still don't understand.
There are three paths before me--
Let me show you each in turn.

Neither of us want me
To take the first path.
Death by the blade;
A premature exit.
As you tell me,
There is much to live for,
And I won't be leaving soon.

The second path
Would be your choice.
You want me to be a martyr.
Live for others,
And not myself,
Be blind to who I am.
Conform, assimilate,
Is that what you'd like?
I love you so much,
But you can't see my soul.

There is a third path,
As we both know well.
When it crosses

A Magical MiracleI feel like a failure, or maybe a fraud.
Thinking I can heal you...like magic, take the pain...
How can I heal you, when I'm not healed?
I am no magician.

I'll confess to you
Why I'm such a mess,
In the vaguest terms I know.
I keep on waiting
For a magical miracle,
Because daydreams delude me,
And I dream of being free.
I'm lost in reality,
Because it doesn't feel real.
Function without fantasy?
I'd be dead long ago.

It kills me inside
To cause you more pain.
I keep writing that word...
How painful to write.
My hardened heart
Makes it hard to say
What's truly in my heart.

I've tried to be your friend,
But I think I've failed in that.
My mi

Crisscross LinesAnother day of melancholy.
Were you ever so stiff before?
And by before, I don't mean yesterday.
Were you ever this cold
Before you envisioned springtime?
That blissfully docile girl--
Where did that child go?

Did you tuck her away
In some corner of your mind,
Then forget to go and retrieve her?
You must have forgotten,
Or else why are you here?
You have reached your destination,
The sand of starlight shoals.

Walk along the beach awhile,
If you think it will do any good.
Listen to the waves. Build yourself a castle.
Crane your neck to see the sky,
Those dark blue fires winking out.
Shape your fortress with delicate grace.

Boys are made out

Choose To Be BraveI worry that I've passed my peak
Without knowing I ever got there.
I worry that I've hurt you,
Without knowing I ever could.

I worry that it's a pattern,
And I can never break it.
I worry that I'm standing
On the other side, the wrong one.

Have I labored too long?
I think I'm in the wrong.
And if I sing this song,
I'll never belong.

But it takes a bit of bravery
To believe you're in the right.
Not for the sake of pride...
For the sake of keeping sane.

If I lose my mind,
It's me I'll blame.
This was always my choice,
And I choose to be brave.

Blue BannersRecite a line
From an ancient play.
Drown your fears in salt.
Ask a question
That has no answer.

Take a journey
From here to dusk.
Draw strength from red rays
Before you face the bright.
It's a shame to be lonely
When you're smothered in shame.

Be wary of warriors
That fight for blue banners.
Be aloof when enthusiasm
Might repel your dearest friends.
Don't accept false crowns.
When you're lost in a snowstorm,
Look for the snow.

Sunlight ShoalsI took a walk down sunlight shoals,
Before the sunset came.
I snapped a photo of all my goals,
But they never fit the frame.

I soared above the summer fields,
Plagued by draught and famine.
I covet not what summer yields,
A crop of war and cannons.

I looked upon a lonely light,
And held it in my fingers.
I held too hard, it bit too bright,
Yet a sullen ember lingered.

I braved a mountain I charted twice,
And believed my trek was new.
I drank of fountains I knew by sight,
And filled my cup with gloom.

I made my home a haunted house,
But I was the only ghost.
I settled for being a taunted mouse,
Before I became the host.

I plunged myself i

Branching OutHow could I be so selfish
When you were in so much pain?
Spending days and days
Absorbed in this vacuum...
An empty wretched creature,
Without a word of love to give.

We all have moments
That we reserve for ourselves.
A kind of catharsis
When we wallow in woe.
But I took it too far--
I ventured off the trail.

And now I'm lost in the woods
With the wrong map and a key
That won't fit any locks I try.
This time, I won't ask you
To lead me on home.
I'm hacking through bushes
And knocking down doors
In search of you this time,
In search of us again.

I won't stop until I find you,
And ask if you'll forgive me.
I'll accept any answer,
As long as

A Rogue in the RainWith my head bowed like I'm praying,
With my heart stopped like I'm dying,
The time and tears are torn away
Until neither wears me down.

With my childhood stolen,
With my innocent brain
Played with and prodded,
I run away from home.

I strike out, stars above,
Making my way alone.
I pass a field of flowers
That wilt with every step.

A rogue in the rain
Is what I'm becoming.
No home, no prospects,
No shelter in sight.

Mired in misery,
Stalled on the shore.
A wall of winter waves
Keeps me from the spring.

But why let weather
Determine my fate?
I must face the storm,
And storm the gates.

I will try to amend
The sparks that burn blue.

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More from ~StarlightShoals

A Worthless Wriggling WormI look at it sometimes,
But never directly.
Like the sun at midday,
I fear its effect on my eyes.
Will I burn to cinders
If I dare to look?
Will a quick little glance
Be enough to melt my flesh?

It's a problem I can't get rid of.
It's a friend I can't break ties with.
It's a repulsive worthless worm
That wriggled into my life.

Could I squeeze it with my fingers
Until the juices burst like blood?
Would it screech and flail before me
If I doused it in molten flame?
I'd like to see it burn
Like my eyes when I cry at night.
I haven't cried in such a long time,
But rawness chafes my skin.

A hateful heart is in my chest,
Clawing for latent freed

Constructed by ChaosThis is my mind--
A scattered roiling canvas
Denoted by splotchy colors.
The fireworks show of feelings
Overshadows silver thoughts.
The logical side of me
Tries dividing my thoughts
Into black and white photos
Of understated memories.
But the artist in me,
With abstract impressions
Adds rainbow hues
To the monocrome hills.
Musical memories
Usurp grey recollections,
And poetry's palette
Imbues brainwaves with magic.
My mind is constructed by chaos,
A home only I can know.

As Bards May SingA princess each
From two opposing kingdoms
Met and fell in love.
The wrath of kings
And the scorn of queens
Were not enough to sway them.
Their love was such
As bards may sing--
Crossed by stars,
And doomed by blood.

Together by chance,
Apart by design,
They contrived communication.
Love letters sent
By messenger birds,
Or carried by loyal friends.
But few friends had they,
And eventual betrayal
Would crush their hoping hearts.

With war on the plains,
The two kings decided
To lock their daughters away.
A tower and a dungeon,
Two separate realms of pain,
Cut the princess pair in half,
No sight nor sound of either.
One princess bound in chain

This Cage of CaringShouldn't have tried it,
Shouldn't have dared
To believe I could receive
A dash of praise, a bit of love,
A hint of helping hands.
In this life, no one but you
Can save your sorry soul.
Be aware and open-minded,
And maybe you'll find a way
To escape this prison,
This cage of caring,
Where none will care for you.
But should I care
Whether anyone cares?
Should that stop me from caring too?
It doesn't matter
If you don't matter
As long as it matters to you.

Starlight ShoalsI took a walk down starlight shoals,
Before the sunrise came.
I gathered pieces of shattered souls,
No one but them to blame.

I gave my life for a stranger's strife,
Entombed within the sand.
I wrote my name with a reaper's scythe,
Engraved upon the land.

I waxed and waned above the moon,
Bringing birth to children two.
I watched the twins go out at noon,
Watched one return and one consumed.

I cut my hand and let it bleed,
Too young to dress the wound.
I saved a plant and dropped a seed,
But never saw it bloom.

I ran a mile and doubled back,
Yet never found the start.
I loved a friend and wanted more,
But suffered a broken heart.

I reach

Abandonment IssuesNearly free, but nowhere near.
Almost there, but far away.
I can't seem to measure
Up to things I want to be.
Too small for my clothes
In a world that's so big.
Too scared of decisions
With no choice but to choose.

They tell me I have talent,
That things will be fine.
They think that I'm happy,
That I'm doing just fine.
But fine isn't good enough
To draw a fine line
Between the person they're seeing
And the one in my mind.

I want to be better,
To be my very best,
Not shrink under pressure
Like I'm doing right now.
But insecurity prompts me
To hold back a few inches,
Afraid of rejection,
Of being abandoned again.

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Spinning Our Secrets

by ~StarlightShoals, Mar 3, 2013, 12:45:10 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

I cried today.
I shed true tears.
I cried in a way
I haven't in years.

To be sad, I know,
Is how I've been.
To be glad of snow,
And trees so thin.

I remember dearly
What it's like to smile.
I remember nearly
When I think for a while.

When you look at me,
Do you see my face?
The face I free
In cyberspace?

I have dreamed of you,
Within my mind.
I have screamed for you,
Without a sign.

Succumb, or suffer,
Is there truly a difference?
Shall I form a buffer
To make an inference?

Do not deride me
For being in pain.
Do not deprive me
When you have no gain.

We are spinning our secrets
Until they spiral unheard.
I am pinning my weakness
To the wall, inferred.

Spinning Our Secretsby ~StarlightShoals

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

©2013 ~StarlightShoals

I feel like I've been hit by a train.

...And at the same time, I feel nothing.

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

Mood: Love

~Clingtome 3 days ago New member Hobbyist Writer

beautiful

Reply

Mood: Adoration

~StarlightShoals 3 days ago Hobbyist Writer

Thank you very much.

Reply

~KittyKat1913 Mar 6, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

This is an amazing poem. Such emotion put into it.

Reply

~StarlightShoals Mar 6, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you so much.

Reply

Mood: Love

~TaniAkari Mar 5, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

This is beautiful. <3

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~StarlightShoals Mar 6, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you very much. <3

Reply

~ForeverElevated Mar 3, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Great poem, but are you ok?

Reply

~StarlightShoals Mar 3, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

No, I'm not. But thank you for asking...it means a lot.

Reply

~ForeverElevated Mar 3, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Do you need someone to talk about it with? You can shoot me a private message. I think. Is that possible with deviantart? I don't play around with site settings and menus a lot.

Reply

~StarlightShoals Mar 3, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Yeah, they call them notes. I'll send you one in a little while...I need to catch up with my inbox.

Thank you again.

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